Our school started the Homecoming week "festivities" today, and they announced the dress-up days sometime last week.

Today was College Day. We were told to wear our favorite college t-shirts and other attire. Much like you might expect, not a damn person did. Tomorrow we have Kindergarden Day. I'm not too excited about that idea, but I'm thinking about taking a water bottle with me to pericodically wet my pants (pouring the water on them directly--not drinking it and actually peeing on myself). Wednesday is Twin Day. I don't think anyone will even try because my school is full of a bunch of rednecks--everyone looks the same anyway. Thursday is Senior Citizen Day. I'm tempted to rent one of those Hover-round things and take that to school. And Friday is School Spirit Day, so I think i'll just wear my class shirt.

I think that making Homecoming for our school on October 25 was the worst idea that anyone has ever had, ever. First of all, the much anticipated Incubus concert is that night, so half of my school is skipping our Homecoming to go to that. On top of that, the ACT is the next morning, and half my school is taking that.

Basically, everyone's going to get wasted at Homecoming and the Incubus concert the night before the ACT, so I'm counting on the bell curve to pull my score up.

Geology - 94/A
Sociology - 100/A
English - 91/B
Marine Aquatics - 97/A
Economics - 96/A
Physics - 96/A

I think I'm going to buy myself ice cream.

"Why the hell should I give a loser like you money? What do I get out of it?" --Curious George

Well you see, that is a very good question. And, as you may have expected, I have a very good answer.

You should donate to me for many reasons. First of all, I am a nice guy. Hasn't anyone ever told you be nice to those who are nice to you? I'll make a deal with you then. If you decide to donate money to me, I will be nice to you. Unless you want me to be a bitch to you, donate.

Also, let me make clear where and for what your money is being donated. The money I recieve goes to help a poor little child with a big heart, (for those of you that are confused, that would be me). I am a senior in high school and I will be going to college next year. College is a tough time, and I will need money to blow.

What you will get by donating money is priceless. You will get the satisfaction of changing someone's life for the better by giving him a good time in college. Now, you just can't beat that.

I have an English test tomorrow, and at the moment I'm contemplating whether I should study or not. I think I might look over the material for a few minutes, but that'll be the extent of it. I guess I would study more for it if my teacher didn't make them so damn hard.

You know, there are two types of teachers: teachers that hate teaching, and teachers that like to learn. The teachers that like to learn are the best because you learn the most stuff from them. Teachers that hate their jobs but come to work anyway because they need to get paid are whores. No one likes them.

An article in the news was about how this dude goes to a robotics factory and decides he wants to work there. He takes the company test and fails it. The employer says that he lacks the skills that he needs for the job, and that a college education would help.

So this guy goes to the North Carolina University campus and finds out what robotics classes they teach. He decides that he wants to enroll, but he has no money. His solution: Go to college for free. Now I'm not talking about a scholarship or anything. Let's just say that he was a clever guy.

He knew that most teachers don't really care about the students in their class, and classes are often too big to even keep track of them. So he gets online and purchases the books for the classes and just shows up in class one day. He sits in the back and never says a thing. When class is going on, he pays attention. When a test day comes, he sleeps in. The teacher never even calls his name on her roll. This way, he gets a college education without ever being on the college's list. Therefore, he never pays a dime (other than for the books).

In reality, he gets a free ride. Needless to say, after a year or so, he goes back to the factory manager and wants to take the test again. It turns out that he actually fails it again, but he got a free education!

I honestly thought that this day would never come, yet my prayers have been answered...

All of my teachers suck. My Physics teacher turned in my 9-weeks grade as a 76 instead of a 96 because she apparently forgot the little loop on her 9 so it made it look like a 7.

My english teacher, well thank God she doesn't teach math because she obviously can't add two numbers and divide by two. According to her, my 95 classwork/homework average and my 88 test average turns out to be a 87.

You know what? I'm pissed and I'm annoyed and I'm hurting. And it's all because I'm a dumbass.

Let me tell you what happened. I was out putting fertilizer in the yard by hand because the spreader that you roll along wasn't working. So I'm out with handfuls of fertilizer and all this dust from them all over my hands and arms, and then--out of nowhere--a stupid bug flies into me and hits me in the eye. Now, what would your natural instinct be? To swat it away and rub your eye to make sure it's out, right? So that's what I did, and in the process I rubbed all the fertilizer dust into my eye. I eventually collapsed to the ground and proceeded to scream in pain.

The lesson of this story is: Don't put fertilizer in your eye.

Note: Official Smacked T-shirts, coffee mugs, and mousepads are all on sale in the Smacked Store. If you want one, get it before October 21.

One bad thing that the media does is get into other people's business. On the other hand, one good thing they do is amuse me for hours at a time. I was looking around online and I came across a few things that are definitely worth mentioning.

Can you believe that two guys listed themselves on eBay? Yeah, they're apparently selling themselves to whoever bids the highest for two hours. Their excuse: "We love life."

An inspired man invents a security system for ATM machines. To his disappointment, the banks tell him they don't want it. What does he do? The dumbass starts counterfeiting bank cards instead.

Last but not least in the news, Muslims are trying to punish President Bush for his foreign policy by refusing to purchase Coka Cola and Pespi products. How stupid can you be?

Life should come with an explaination manual, because I can't seem to grasp the concept of why alarm clocks are important to the human race. All they do is disturb your much needed sleep on a Sunday morning.

My alarm clock went off this morning and I woke up saying "Who awakes my slumber?" No. I didn't mean to say it. It just kinda slipped.

In all my life, I never thought I would encounter something like this right here. And Jarvis, I hate to break it to ya man, but I think it's true. Your childhood hero has gone overboard. Oh, and when you click on it, make sure your sound is up. Heh heh heh...

I know that I haven't posted anything in a really long time, but I promise you it was just because I'm a lazy ass.

The Official Smacked Store is open! Woohoo! So if anyone would be interested in purchasing an Official Smacked T-shirt, wall clock, bumper sticker, hat, or any other merchandise imaginable, check it out.

Also, if you have any product ideas or requests, leave a comment below.

I was driving down the road today, and I just finished my drink from Burger King. I looked around, and since there weren't any other cars or people around, I threw the cup out the window. Just as I did so, the wind current pushed the cup back into my car through the same window and hit me in the face. Then of course it splaters all on me and in my car. I think that was God's way of telling me not to litter.

Did you know that if you startle an armadillo, it'll jump up to 1.5 meters straight up into the air? Think about it. That's like almost 5 feet...wow. Now my question for you is how the hell do you startle an armadillo? The only times you ever see one is when it's lying in the middle of the road with tire marks on it...

I think that guy's bathrooms should have a special...extra, if you will. Girls bathrooms are always nicer, everyone knows that. But guys should have at least some kind of entertainment in their lives--in the bathroom at least. (And no, I'm not talking about Port-O-Porn.)

I think that in each of the stalls, there should be another imbedded smaller ring, one that resembles a basketball hoop. This ring should be 3 inches or so in diameter. My whole concept is based on a game that you play at the fair that I know everyone on Earth has played. You know that game where you shoot the water from the gun into the little hole, and it makes the thing go up or the balloon blow up and the first one to the top wins? Well it should be like that. You have to aim and get it in the ring, and when you do, instead of winning a prize, it flushes itself!

Damn, I'm gonna be rich...

I was sitting in class today squirming in my seat when I realized that the worst feeling in the entire world is when you are cold and you have to pee. One or the other is not so bad, but when you put those two together, it's hell.

I have started a donation fund. If you, by any chance, would be interested in donating money to the community me, please let me know by commenting and either saying a simple "Yes" or "No."

Did you know that New Orleans is sinking? One football field worth of land goes under water every 15 minutes. No lies. Experts say that in 50 years, the whole city will be under water. It's already, on average, 8 feet below sea level.

It's ok though, cause they're thinking about building a 25-foot wall around the city to keep the water out. Well what happens when the wall breaks or falls? Can we say Atlantis?

My computer is so retarded. I was messing around with it and I unplugged and plugged back some stuff to move it to the other side of the room, and when I finally turned my computer back on it says, "Keyboard not detected. Press F1 to continue." What can I say? Retarded.

I've figured out a way to avoid future terrorist attacks. Now, this may sound like a completely dumb idea, but if you have a logically working mind, it makes perfect sense. This is my proposal: Make buildings out of rubber.

Now it sounds silly doesn't it? Yeah, well think about it. When was the last time you saw a rubber building go crashing to the ground? Exactly. It's the perfect solution to our problems! Let's say that there is an earthquake. Hmm, I wonder what the building made of cement and steel (Building A) is gonna do. Yup, you guessed it. It's gonna crumble to the ground. On the other hand, what's a building made of rubber (Building B) gonna do? It's gonna giggle a little. That's it. I rest my case.

No, wait I don't. I have more. Now let's say that the same two buildings (Building A and Building B) get struck by lightening, which is very likely at that height. Building A will send electric voltage through the whole damn building via steel beams. Building B will just make a "zap" sound and then it will...do nothing. Once again rubber wins.

Let's put this to the ultimate test and say that a couple of planes decide to smash into Building A and Building B. In Building A, the crash has horrible results and the cement/steel building is destroyed. The rubber building, on the other hand, experiences no damage whatsoever. The plane simply bounces off of the building and has an opportunity to endure a safe landing. As for the building, it wiggles a little bit and the worst thing that happens is an office worker inside spills coffee on his shirt.

Once again, I believe I have found the solution to all of our architectural problems. That is all, my friends. Rubber is the new technology of the world. Use it well...

I just got back from my ACT class and I've officially decided something today: The Science Reasoning section of the ACT should not be on there. And I think I speak for everyone (or at least all normal people) when I say that it pulls your score down soo much. I think they put it on there for that reason too, because I'm sure I could have an awesome score on the damn test if it wasn't for that section. And it sucks cause its got almost half the number of questions that the English section has, but it counts just as much. Hmm, does that not strike you as...oh, I don't know--unfair as hell? It does to me and I think I'm gonna sue. So, if anyone knows the person who invented the ACT, let me know and you're in for 50% of the money.

I think everyday should be pajama day. Pajamas are so comfortable that it's not even funny. I mean, why else would we sleep in them? And why do we have to wear all these suits and dress up nice and stuff? Because we're trying to impress our bosses? Hmm, well how about we wear our pajamas to work, and if they like dogs, wear your doggie PJ's, and if they like Spiderman, wear your Spiderman PJ's. That'll get them on their good side eh? It's not that difficult of a concept to grasp. Suits aren't even comfortable. It's like you're walking around like a stick wrapped in itchy clothing. I don't know about you, but I'm starting my own damn trend--that is until I get sent home from school for an improper dress code. But until then...PJ's for everyone!

While we were doing absolutely nothing in class besides talking and waiting for the bell to ring, some people were babbling about war and stuff. They were talking about how we need to have a war against all these nations in order to have peace in the world. Now is it just me or does that strike you as a bit ironic? If you don't read anything on this site ever again, read this next line.

Fighting to achieve peace is like having sex to achive virginity. It just doesn't go that way.

I'm tired. I think I'm gonna take a nap now...

You know what pisses me off? When people take your jokes and tell them to other people like they came up with the joke themselves. And on top of that, they screw up the joke. It just gets on my nerves. Not only that, but especially when someone you don't even like does it...I mean, why can't you come up with your own damn jokes? If you can't come up with your own jokes, go to some stupid intenet joke site and steal some shit from them, not me. If it happens again I'm gonna hunt you down and...hit you.

Ashpande84: and i hope you never get any comments
MittalDUDE: thats it, i'm blocking you

I had a test on gravity, velocity, and acceleration today. I'll tell you one thing, if they would let us relate it to things that interest us, like cars or something, people would learn a whole lot more. Like we could go out and test the 0-60 mph and stuff. Yeah, I think that'd be badass. It's all simple and understandable that way, but when you put it on paper is when you lose me.